The summer before my senior year in college, I studied abroad in London. Within the first week or so, I got my nose pierced. Clearly, I wasn't going to tell my mother who was across the Atlantic at the time. But somehow, she found out.
Mom to Me: "Please tell me it's not true."
Me to Mom: "What?"
Mom to Me: "Did you get your nose pierced? Please tell me you didn't do it, please."
Me to Mom: "I did. It's not a big deal. Who told you?"
Mom to Me: "OH MY GOD! YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR FACE! YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO GET A JOB NOW! NEVER! DO YOU SEE KATIE COURIC WITH A NOSE RING? OR JULIE ANDREWS? NO ONE IS GOING TO HIRE YOU! YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FACE AND NOW IT HAS A HOLE IN IT! I HOPE YOU'LL BE HAPPY WHEN NO ONE HIRES YOU BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE A UBANGI. OR A PIG"
Me to Mom: "Ma, it's really cute though."
Mom to Me: "I can't tell your father. It will kill him, KILL HIM."
(needless to say, I removed the nose ring immediately following that conversation; she checked my nose the second she saw me back in the States and said "It's a good thing.")
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